Have You Ever Said, “I Wish I Were More Creative?” Then This Article is For You.
5 Ways We Stop Ourselves From Being More Creative and Tips to Shift into a More Creative Life
What is creativity? As a concept, it’s elusive, and yet, literally all around us. It’s in every device we use to keep our lives humming along, in every last minute decision when the unexpected pops up, it’s in everything we wear, see, and read. We both often take it for granted and place it so high on a pedestal we assume it’s unreachable.This extreme view of creativity makes it difficult when it comes to our understanding of our inherent creative natures. What does it mean to be creative? And who gets to be creative? Our culturally dominant narratives make it seem that only certain people get to live their lives being led by the muses to either great acclaim and “success” or to a life riddled with suffering and struggle. When we place creativity in a binary, as with most binaries, we’re not seeing the whole picture. And not only are we not seeing the whole picture, we end up forcing ourselves into one of two camps whether we actually fit there or not. Or we remove ourselves altogether. This binary thinking robs us of discovering and getting very specific and nuanced about what kind of creative we actually are. And EVERYONE is creative. A common refrain from a fuck-ton (estimated measurement) of people is “I would love to do that, but I’m not creative/artistic.”
Much of the time when people say “creative” they mean to say talented or are referring to a set of skills. But, talent and skills — and the ability to profit off of them — is not the same as creativity. They can certainly be related, but they’re not necessary to be creative. Creativity is more about doing things that light you up rather than being “the best.” Playing in any medium of the fine arts like painting or ceramics because it’s engaging to work with different colors and textures and may feel good to get our hands dirty, coming up with rituals out of housework to make taking care of ourselves feel more nourishing and meaningful, writing as a way to understand our own thoughts and tap into our inner wisdom are just a few examples of the endless ways creativity can show up for us in our lives.
Here are a few reasons why we may become disconnected from our inherent creativity and some ways to start accessing it again:
1.We believed it when people told us we weren’t good enough.
A lot of the time this can happen in childhood when we’re developing and vulnerable. We could be doing whatever it is that’s bringing us joy or has captured our attention and then a teacher, caretaker, or some other adult says something that makes us feel like we should stop doing that thing. Maybe they compared some of your artwork to your sibling’s, or they shamed you for daydreaming and spending time exploring in nature, or they flat out told you you suck at something. That leaves a mark. As kids, we look to adults for protection, guidance, and acceptance. And since our brains don’t fully develop until between the ages of 25–27, we internalize all of those messages that we’re exposed to as truth. We’re also too young to realize that when a person harshly critiques or invalidates us, they’re very likely projecting and reflecting hurt parts of themselves.
Suggestion: Work on believing and reminding yourself that you are worthy no matter what. You are the one that gets to decide who you are and what you spend your time on, not anyone else. Working with a mental health specialist, coach, or a safe person — if the others are not currently accessible — in your life to reflect those things back to you can be a great start with that.
2. We think that if we’re not “talented” enough to make money from our creativity, it’s not worth investing time in.
When we are ensconced in a capitalist society, as we are, one that forces us to work to the point of exploitation as the price to pay for merely being alive, it can feel somewhat counter-intuitive to do something just for the sake of doing it. For the sake of joy and wanting to feel good or learn something new. But, what’s actually counter-intuitive is the conditioning of grind and hustle culture. Of “go big or go home” culture. That culture disregards our natural cycles for rest and restoration and our brains’ needs for new stimulation and information. It lies and tells us our only value comes from how much we work and, as a result, how much we produce. It shames people who choose to do things other than work and for not even trying to make a profit. It also shames those who do attempt to make a living creatively but, for whatever reasons, never “make it.” Talent, as well, can both be subjective and something that develops as a result of living with certain privileges. Privileges from resources, environment, the generosity of others, etc. allows people to either hone a craft or provides a space for skills and passions that come naturally to be supported and thrive. Comparing ourselves to people with completely different circumstances will only lead to feelings of shame and paralysis that keep us from acting on our desires.
Suggestion: Set aside small amounts of time — 3 or 5 minutes — and just start. Use this as a tool to slowly build capacity for making room in your life for things you want to do or try. And try not to compare yourself to others. You are doing this for YOU and you’re starting where you’re at.
3. We’re afraid of sucking.
It takes time to learn how to do things, let alone do them with any kind of competency. But often, the expectations placed on us are so unrealistic that we either stop after doing something once if we don’t feel it was “perfect” or we feel too paralyzed to try anything out of fear of eventually being found out as a person who sucks at things. Many of us carry around the narrative that if we’re not good at something from the get-go that it must mean we shouldn’t be doing that thing. However, we get better when we actually show up and DO, when we fail and have to retrace our steps to find out what went awry, and when we try to figure out our unique process of doing. Our brains thrive in a beginner’s mindset because that means we’re constantly engaging with life in new and interesting ways. There’s no room to get stagnant. One of my favorite examples of engaging a beginner’s mindset is with a show on Netflix called “Nailed It!” On the surface, it’s another competition baking show, the difference is that the contestants are not formally trained bakers and generally know that their skills would not be Paul Hollywood-approved. But they do their best and have a lot of fun with it. It’s also really fun to see how creative they get with what they have when they have no idea how to do something.
Suggestion: Remind yourself that it’s ok to do things poorly. Give yourself permission to have a sucky first attempt… and second and third. It will get you out of your rut and into doing the thing.
4. We get jealous of others and what they do but don’t listen to what those feelings are trying to tell us.
Jealousy is often seen as fundamentally negative, but it has a lot to tell us about our needs and desires. When we find ourselves experiencing feelings of jealousy toward others it’s typically not a moral failing but an indication that there is something that we are not giving ourselves enough of. And when we understand the coping mechanisms that can pop up in response to the feelings of jealousy, we can learn what within us needs healing. For example: you see someone doodling something really cool and interesting with such ease and you find yourself having judgmental thoughts toward this person and what they’re doing. This may indicate the presence of a part of you that was harshly judged and scrutinized rather than supported and celebrated. In what ways may you be stifling yourself or not accepting yourself? How can you add more of what you need into your life? How is your jealousy trying to protect you?
Suggestion: Get curious about your jealousy and see where it leads you. Asking yourself questions in a compassionate way can help you get in touch with some deep richness within, which can make the answers that come up clearer and easier to navigate.
5. We don’t know what our unique process is or how to engage with it, leaving us questioning if we actually have one or not.
You’ve tried all the life hacks, the strategies to keep you disciplined, you’ve searched for your muses but nothing seems to stick. It must mean something’s wrong with you. This couldn’t be further from the truth. What works for one person and their process may not work for you. Everyone has a creative process, it’s about tapping into it by discovering what feels good for you, and learning how to incorporate it more in the life you are currently living.
Suggestion: Experiment! Throw the proverbial spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks. It usually starts with what is manageable and easy to complete. This is not a cop out. We build our capacity for new habits by accomplishing bite-sized goals consistently over time. This builds our confidence in 1) Knowing that we can commit to and follow through on something and 2) so we can start taking more risks with our process as we go along.
Bonus! If it feels good it must be wrong.
Many people who struggle with accessing their creative selves may also have difficulty with play. Along with white supremacy, another bedrock of American society is the “pull yourself up by your bootstraps”, hard work = happiness, and pleasure is bad/earned Puritanical values. Even if you had a more free-spirited upbringing, it’s unlikely that those messages didn’t sneak in on some level. Many of us have been conditioned out of feeling connected to our intuition and needs because we’re told that to act in our best interests is selfish and that we are not worthy of feeling good in our lives if we haven’t struggled and suffered for it. There are many things about this point that are fucked, but I will say this: when we move toward what feels good we move closer to ourselves. I don’t believe that we’re meant to live our lives unnecessarily suffering. It doesn’t make us better people. It makes us hardened and resentful people. Life is difficult enough. We really don’t need to make it harder by holding martyrdom olympics with each other to prove how worthy we are of eating foods we love, enjoying sex and intimacy with others, playing and goofing off, or making shit just for the sake of it. And that’s the bare-minimum.
Suggestion: If play or doing things that feel good bring up any kind of shame, get curious about what that shame is doing there. Where did it come from? What is it trying to protect you from? What does it need from you so it can feel safe enough to release?
Creativity, much like a person’s fingerprints, is unique to the individual. It can be extremely fulfilling and exhilarating to allow ourselves the opportunity to rediscover parts of us we once thought we lost. Or uncover new identities altogether. Discovering our creative process is much like going on a treasure hunt: it’s great to finally reach the gold at the end, but it’s more about the thrill of the adventure and not knowing what you’ll find and learn on your way there.
